he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
