i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize