GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize