Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
