We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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