Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
