Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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