Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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