My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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