they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
