I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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