you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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