But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
