are you still at the devil's house?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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