I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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