Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
