this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize