im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
