Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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