I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is wine microwaveable?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
