It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm always down for nudity.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
