i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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