Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
