Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
