nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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