if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
