I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
