12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
