I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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