talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
