she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well I just put wine in my tea
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
