New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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