you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
