How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
