he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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