Do vagina's smell?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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