you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
