I hate all girls vehemently.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
