You work out of a Hotel?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
