if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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