The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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