Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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