Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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