You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
