Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
