My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
