What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
