So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
