The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
