So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
