Don't make out with my wife yet
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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