covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
