I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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