Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize