How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
