I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
