Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
