I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize