last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
