And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he was CRYING into my vagina
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
