super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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