Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
