If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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