I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
