Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
