if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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