You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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