areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize