I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
BRING THE BAGELS
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
